10.28.2007

ugh

ugh

the more i do this dissertation, the more i dislike it. i hate cementing my time like this, i hate singling out individual paragraphs. i hate the whole thing. i am so disgusted and depressed by it right now.

and yet, i continue, because... it's something i think at the end i will be liberated by the discipline, self-control and self-knowledge it brings to me.

and yet i have to bury my face in the blanket to admit that.

yup. that's life. so be it. etc.

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"To live is so startling. It leaves but little room for other occupations." -- Emily Dickinson